my least favorite part of being a mom..

..is potty training. i said from day 1 i dreaded it, which i did and do, and maybe it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. but it sucks.

i thought after her bday we were just fighting the pooping on the potty battle. then she did it and it was amazing and she was peeing on the potty too.. 

then bailey. then regression wayyyyyy back.

when we got home from the hospital the first time- the nicu- she started going on the potty again. then after the second bout and us being up in picu for a week away from home- it's been awful since then. i can get her to go poop i'd say about 75% of the time, but peeing is ridiculous. i keep her in a pull-up because i'm alone half the week and it's so freaking hard with a newborn. i've had to have the couches and her chair in her room professionally cleaned from peeing on them, i can't do that every single time she has an accident. so on days that we're not both here we don't even attempt panties.

i've tried rewards with m&m's, stickers, sticker charts. trips to chuck e cheese, the playground. phone calls to excited family members. some days she's awesome with it. and then the very next day it's awful again. she just pees in the pull-up and doesn't care and will even change it herself and throw it away. i've tried setting timers. i just remind her to go a lot, and some days she will just refuse to drink.

so here we are, she's not quite 3.5, i know it's not the end of the world, but it sucks. i'd like her to do dance classes. hell, i'd like to have just 1 kid in diapers. she's too smart, it's more of a power struggle than anything with her. she's been a lot more defiant since bailey's been in the picture, just seeing what she can get away with. she never had a terrible 2's, it's the terrible 3's. lots of time outs lately. 

yesterday we put up her big xmas present: the swingset. 

we started out by having sally set the scene.

DearOlivia,

Ibrought this present a little early because it was too big to fit in my sleigh.Your dad and grandpa and uncle are going to help me put it together for you.Sally promised me that you will be a better girl today. Listen to your parentsand go on the potty, and I’ll be back on Christmas Eve with more presents!Don’t forget the cookies!

   

    Love, Santa

here it is after about 5-6 hours of charlie, my dad and uncle steve working on it

and olivia's first trip down the slide. she was nervous at first, but not today. 

the rest of last night i spent wrapping xmas presents, i'm almost done finally. i have charlie's stuff to do and a few little things and then i'm done. today i did the dreaded xmas day grocery shopping. my responsibilities are the lasagna, chicken parm, and crack brownies. i bought heavy duty plastic plates and some plastic cups and we can use my grammy's gold silverware, because i'm classy like that. after the dish disaster of thanksgiving this year, i'm not in the mood. on christmas i tear up the house the day before. the lasagna and chicken parm takes me hours to make. on xmas day all i have to do is pop the pans into the oven and i'm done. i don't want a million dishes to do. i think somebody's bringing salad and bread, my mom's making cannolis. i'll make up some crystal light. maybe my mom will bring some bailey's. i've been in the mood for a beer to be honest, but that's another story. 

i have a few things i need to do before xmas that i'm running out of time for. like the salt dough ornaments, and a cute painting with o, and another cute ornament. saturday i'm getting a new tattoo. i'm running out of time to stockpile my freezer up with milk for bailey, but that's really hard to do when she's eating every meal off of me. she'll probably have to supplement some formula the first week or so that i'm back at work.

life's pretty good though. crazy but good. i've been reading a lot, the bible and also game of thrones. don't really go together, do they? but i've never gotten through the bible, and me and the man are on a new level after this year. i still have a ton of questions, but i want to find out as much as i can. i want to be a better person. i'm working on little things one at a time. first thing: it's so easy to judge people. but you know what? that's not up to me. giving that up i think will reduce some stress in my life. it's a hard thing to do, but i'm willing to try.